THANKFULNESS REFLECTION: Finding A Mom Tribe Helped Me through my Depression

Please note this article was written in April of 2019. Photos of Sloane and I taken in Chicago April of 2019 by Michelle Cox.  

This time last year, I was six months postpartum and I remember being in such a weird space.  I label it weird because I was a roller coaster of emotions.  How do I start to explain?  I felt so much joy because I now had my baby girl I had prayed for.  I was blessed that I had the opportunity to resign from the job I hated and stay home with my newborn and pursue my dreams as an entrepreneur. Sounds perfect, right?!  What I wasn’t prepared for was feeling so alone, being mommy around the clock, a caregiver to my mother, and feeling guilt that I even felt this way.  I also didn’t have many mom friends at that time that I felt could relate or even more so, I felt embarrassed to share because it seemed I was living “the life.”

It was a casual afternoon of eyebrow “primping,” of course Sloane (my daughter) was attached to my hip.  I was having some small chat with another mom; you live for this as a SAHM when your nine to five communication becomes nursery rhymes and letter sound teachings of their first words.  She asked that loaded question of “how are you doing?” My response, “I’m just trying to get my life together,” with a huge sigh and all the real feelings flooding my body inside. Just that small convo led to her sharing information about an awesome mom community “District Motherhued.”  DM is an organization dedicated to serving, hosting and helping millennial moms of color build their mom tribes. 

This organization was a gift that I did not even know I desperately needed.  I was now a SAHM to two, five years apart, an aspiring entrepreneur, and trying to figure out how to push through this postpartum sinkhole.  When I think back, I’m like wow, what a gem, and who knew at that very moment this community would help me get my entire life while embracing all my #BlackMomMagic.  

It was the “Coffee Meets Bagel” for moms.  I went to a Spring Mixer hosted that March of 2018 and ended up meeting two SAHM’s who lived just ten minutes away.  Talk about winning! Two months later we were securing tickets to “The Momference,” the first full-day conference for black moms, scheduling play dates, and pushing each other out the house on the not so good days.  

The Momference™ was such an empowering experience; I met neighbors I didn’t know I had, boss moms juggling it all. We shared experiences, challenges and obstacles. In that moment, I felt so much excitement to be amongst like-minded women ready to live their best mom life. 

Fast forward to 2019, Sloane no longer sits still for any mommy and me errands, a successful business launch behind me, an entire tribe of moms I love and a few therapy sessions in, I’m embracing my challenges in motherhood, sharing my struggles, and pouring into a village that pours into me. 

I was blessed with the opportunity to volunteer my time and serve other moms with twenty something other talented moms of DM, to help in producing The Momference 2019! 

 This year the conference is all about Give, Grow and Glow.  Panels and workshops will educate moms on growing money, talking care of themsleves to maintain that glow, and giving the best strategies on effective parenting.  Not to mention the priceless fellowship and tribe you will build. 

Modern motherhood can be challenging but building community and creating safe spaces will help strengthen our communities.  This is my testimony as I embrace and live in this blessing of being a mom.  I hope this encourages the next to seek community, safe spaces and to know you are not alone in this journey.